Self-doubt is the Enemy of Success

So, after 6 long months, I’ve finished web development boot camp! First off, now that I have a bit more time on my hands, my goal is to go back to a Tuesday and Thursday posting schedule, rather than posting sporadically as I have for a while now. It’s not like I have a shortage of topics. In fact I have quite a few posts I’ve begun to write, but put aside due to time constraints.

The last 6 months have been hard, but extremely rewarding. I learned a lot, not just about coding, but also about myself and my tendency to let my own self-doubt get in the way of my success.

Going in to the program, I wasn’t confident I could do it. I thought I wasn’t smart enough, or capable enough, to learn to code. As I progressed, as I learned, I began to realize that I am capable. That’s not to say it was easy, and there are some things I need to keep working on to be truly comfortable with, but I know now that I am capable. I am smart enough, and the only reason I thought I wasn’t was because I was telling myself I wasn’t.

This experience has pushed me to reflect on my life up to this point. I can’t say I’m pleased with the result of this reflection, but it’s shown me that a lot of my “failures” have come down to my lack of confidence. I’d talk myself down when it came to everything, from jobs to friendships to dating, and everything in between.

I also look back at the times I was better at talking myself up, when I dipped my toes into the pool of self-confidence, but gave up and retreated as soon as I was met with failure. I once again told myself I wasn’t good enough for the kind of job I really wanted, and settled for a job that made me miserable. I decided that I was a terrible friend, and that the people I care about deserve better. I convinced myself I was unlovable, and resigned myself to the belief I’d never find the right person.

My biggest worry right now is that this will be just another phase of self-confidence, and I will buckle under the weight of the inevitable disappointment. Because the disappointment will come, it’s just a natural part of the process. But it doesn’t mean we’re unworthy of what we want in life, it doesn’t mean we’re not working hard enough for it. It just means we have to keep trying, and keeping working hard, or else we’ll never reach that goal.

It’s ok to feel bad when things don’t go the way you hope they would. It’s ok if you get turned down for this job you really want, or that person you really like rejects you, or whatever it is that gets you feeling down. What’s not ok is giving up, and giving into self-doubt.

I’m not saying don’t give yourself time to feel these bad feelings. I’m saying, don’t let those feelings dictate your feeling of worth as a person. You have to channel those feelings into trying again, even though it’s the last thing you want to do.

2 thoughts on “Self-doubt is the Enemy of Success

  1. i really resonate with your feelings of self-doubt. i always think about opportunities i’ve let pass me by because i didn’t think i was good/smart/confident/competent enough. i hope you continue to keep taking risks and being your best supporter instead of listening to the negativity. i wish you luck on your journey!

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