Blog Update

If there’s one thing I’m very good at, it’s overburdening myself. I’m extremely adept at taking on more than I feel I can handle, and inevitably things start falling through the cracks. Right now I am basically going to school full time, doing volunteer work, looking for a part-time job, writing a blog twice a week, and trying to keep together what ever semblance of a social life I can have during a global pandemic.

So yeah, I clearly let the blog thing slide. I didn’t post last Thursday, and because I said I’d be posting Tuesdays and Thursdays now I felt like I just had to wait. Then Tuesday came, and I just stared at a blank page for a bit and couldn’t think of anything to write because my mind was all over the place. I tried writing again Wednesday as I had resigned to the fact that the day of the week doesn’t matter, but I ended up just scrapping everything I wrote. So here we are, another Thursday, and now I’m writing about how I haven’t posted in over a week.

It’s not that I don’t have the time, far from it. But each of these little things comes with its own set of anxieties, and the more I let things build up, the more mentally exhausting it becomes to keep up. I start thinking I don’t have enough time or energy to give something my all, and my anxiety tells me I shouldn’t even bother if it’s not going to be good enough. On top of that, missing posts adds on to that anxiety because I feel like I screwed up and I might as well just give up and abandon the blog like so many things I’ve left behind in the past.

But clearly that’s not what I’m doing. I’ve decided to pick this blog back up with a new attitude. Rather than post on specific days and maintain a rigid schedule I’ll be shifting to posting when I have things to write about. My goal is to post at least once a week, but I will do my best to not see it as a failure if I don’t make that happen. I still want to write, I enjoy writing this blog and I want to keep doing it but I don’t want it to continue to be another source of anxiety, and I certainly don’t want to leave it abandoned in the graveyard of projects I’ve taken on and left behind because I got stressed out.

With that, I will be talking to you all very soon!

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