Balancing Comfort and Happiness

So I’m about to make a huge change in my life, and I think it’s for the better. I will be starting an online coding boot camp, and I’m equal parts excited and terrified. Change was never something that came easy to me, I’ve always been one to find my comfort zone and dig myself in. The unfortunate thing is that while comfort can placate anxiety, if you’re not in a situation that makes you happy then you need to get out of it.

That’s always been one of the struggles for me in dealing with anxiety and depression, it often feels like a balancing act. The path to comfort does not make me happy, and the path towards happiness makes me uncomfortable. I guess if it were easy everyone would be living happy lives.

This change not only means going back to school for 6 months but will hopefully lead to a major career change for me. I’m usually dragged into change kicking and screaming, whether it was going to a new school as a kid, or switching jobs as an adult. But between the shitshow that has been 2020 and my general unhappiness with my direction in life, I think I finally hit a breaking point where something needed to change, anxiety be damned.

I don’t think I ask for much when it comes to happiness in life. I’ll know I’ve made it when I have a career that brings me satisfaction, and a special person to share life with. But even the least lofty of goals can be daunting if you can’t break out of that comfort zone. It’s not always easy. Sometimes it takes a big shakeup to push you along, but it doesn’t have to.

Change can be a scary thing, especially when you have a penchant for worry. But digging in your heels, resisting change that could make things better, won’t get you anywhere. Don’t be like me, don’t let things get so bad you have no choice but to scramble for change. It was a lot of pain and grief for me to get to this point, but it didn’t have to be.

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