Anticipation Anxiety

Anticipation for something good can be exciting! Looking forward to some good news, an event, or even just the next episode of your favorite TV show can be thrilling. Sometimes though, anxiety can come in and ruin all the fun. That excitement becomes replaced with worry. Will it be as good as I’m hoping? Will I be disappointed? How will I cope with life between now and the event I’m looking forward to?

This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Rather than just being excited I get consumed by anxiety, and the longer I have to wait the worse that anxiety gets. It’s not overwhelming, it doesn’t keep me up at night, but I’m just left with this uncomfortable feeling that things just won’t work out right or I won’t make it long enough to experience the payoff of my anticipation.

I get so frustrated with myself because I take the excitement out of things that are supposed to be good. Why do I expect the worst when I’m hoping for good news? Why am I obsessively counting down the days until the next episode of The Mandalorian with this fear that something bad will happen to me? I wish so much I could just look forward to something without all that anxiety and worry.

All I can do is try to distract myself with things that are exciting now. Whether that’s trying to relax and watch a movie I haven’t seen before, or doing something productive and work on a new project. But it’s always a temporary fix, the anxious thoughts stay in the back of my mind ready to pounce when my guard drops.

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