Sorry all, I know this post is later than usual. This week has been tough, aside from the election I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal struggles, and we’re entering the winter months. It’s just all kinda came to a head this week. I have a few ideas for blog posts that I am excited about but I’m going, to be honest, I’m just not feeling any of them right now. I’ve tried, and I just can’t get the words out. It’s like some force in my brain is just blocking them.
I know these feelings aren’t unique to me, and I know my life could be so much worse. I beat myself up for feeling down, and I don’t talk about it because I think to myself “what do I have to complain about?” I am lucky, I have an ok life and I don’t have to be afraid, but instead of finding comfort in that I just feel guilty for having emotions. But that’s the funny thing about anxiety and depression, it beats you down to the point where you don’t even think you deserve to feel beat down. But it’s a lie. Mental illness is, as the name suggests, an illness, and it affects people no matter how good or bad their lives are.
I’m not saying don’t feel fortunate for what you have, in fact, I’d argue the opposite. It just comes down to having gratitude for what you have instead of guilt for what you can’t control. You’re allowed to feel sad, hopeless, anxious, afraid, these are all valid emotions. You can’t just turn them off, nobody can, it’s not that easy. If we could we wouldn’t put ourselves through this. We wouldn’t feel guilty about being in a funk because we wouldn’t be in the funk.
All any of us can do is our best. Sometimes our best is just getting out of bed, and that’s ok. That doesn’t make us bad people, it just means we’re facing our own struggles just like every other person on this planet.